When the Village wants to Raise the Child – Dealing with Unwanted Advice
February 11, 2016
“It takes a village to raise a child”… it is only until you have a child that you realize how literally this statement is taken. Every parent has experienced unwanted advice, which are coated as suggestions but meant as dictation. This is often very common with family and can sometimes drive you up the wall especially if you had a different view of the subject matter.
To avoid having an emotional outburst (which is very likely when you are exhausted and sleepy) it might help to remember that:
A. They really mean well, even if it doesn’t sound like it at that moment.
B. They are also excited with the birth of your baby just as you are.
C. Even if it seem crazy, they are sometimes (SOMETIMES) right. This is especially true (sometimes) when the advice is coming from a fellow parent with much older kids. So don’t be too quick to dismiss the advice but also don’t be too quick to accept it.
Sleep on it, or even feel free to ask your pediatrician, they are always happy to offer advice if needed.
So when you find yourself in a situation where you are getting unsolicited and unwanted advice, you could follow these two easy steps:
1) Take a deep breath (remembering A – C above); and
2) Say “thank you for the advice let me think through it. Will let you know if I have any follow up questions” or “yenyewe, achanifikirie nitakupigia nikiwa na swali.”
This is bound to help keep the peace while keeping the lines of communication for a follow up question open should you realize later that what they were saying was actually right